Does anyone even read my blog or care what I have to say?

If you don't, that's fine. It's been so long since I've been on here I'm not surprised if you don't even look twice when I show up on your story scroll, thingy. I just, I dunno. For some reason, well, not for some reason, that "special time of the month" has come to me today, and it probably tributed to the catagory five hurricane that just took over my FACE! I cried for 15 minutes, but it felt like days. Time itself slowed to a dull hush and that damn Imogen Heap "Hide and Seek" just kept the tears coming. I couldn't stop myself. Everything I'd ever done was flooding through my head.
I thought about my last heartache, and I literally felt the ache again. I promised I would never relive that pain, but for some reason I presented it to myself again. I'm not happy. I mean college is what it is. It is new. It is freedom. It is different. These people, I- I just have no idea how I went from having a million new friends to having ultimately, 2. I don't like A LOT of people and I don't know if it'll get any better. All the - truth is I just want someone to like. I want a guy that I absolutely adore. I want to have a crush on someone, and I want to talk to that person. I want a lot of things, but what I want most in life is love. Requited. The kind I rarely get. I want to fall in love, but I wan- I would give my right arm for a guy just to talk to everyday. One I can see and express myself too. I am soooo effin lonely. All the guys I know are gay or taken, or they smoke... it breaks my heart to have slipped into this state of depression, temporary or not. It hurts me to think like this, but it's killing me to be here.
I Digress, HALLOWEEN!
HALLOWEEN CAN SUCK MY DICK! I officially hate this fucking holiday. I don't know if UAB did it, or WHAT, but this year...I want to fuckin SLAUGHTER Halloween. I despise it. I was never a big huge gigantic fan of it, but now it's really starting to piss me off. These people in my damn dorm have fuckin pumpkin shit all over their damn doors. The school has planned this even that, just today, had people dressed up like zombies AND JUST BEIN ASSHOLES! That, pissed me off. Like, I felt it, immature, and just STUPID. Halloween is fuckin dumb. Everything about it... So stupid, such a waste of money, and I would like to just...Ugh, I hate that holiday.

[deep sigh] I'm not finished, but this will do. I'm not even going to go look for typos. Just take it as is, I am so done.