SO I'm angry again...

I am not a mean person. I am nicer than anyone, and I can be so sweet, but mama told me not to trust everyone because they'll use you, and I feel like I've been used. Why're we always inviting people that I don't know foreal? Why when I don't want to go somewhere I have to be a party pooper? What's up with that? If I don't want to go. I don't want to go, PERIOD! I have the right to change my mind, I have the right to do WHATEVER THE FUCK I WANT TO! I MAY NOT FINANCIALLY BE AN ADULT, BUT BABY, I HAVE A BRAIN!
I'm tired of being this angry person.
I am not an angry person, but these people are going to drive me to the brink of insanity.
Part of me feels bad and wants to reach out to the people that are pissin me off, but then the other side comes in and reminds me why the fuck I didn't go in the first place. I DiDN'T WANT TO!
Everyone's getting on my nerves. There is no one that I want to be around right now that goes to this fucking school. Like, what the hell dude? I am so not happy.
And I wanna be in his arms, but that's completely impossible. He probably doesn't even love me like that. I just wanna go OFF! I am so pent up and ready to go off. Like, I let people put me through so much shit it's not even funny. I am so pent up. I really am, and all this bullshit blah blah about how I should just let it go and continue to put myself out there...is just that, bullshit. I'm tired of fuckin gettin my feelings hurt by people who could give a fuck.
Yeah, I want love, I want it more than anything in the world, but like it's not even about that. It's about the fact that I can't have a day, like a DAY to myself without people trying to force me to go somewhere. UGH I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT I GET TREATED LIKE THIS! I am so angry.
Like, wtf, I drove you guys to the club. I did not want to go to the club, you said it would be like until 3...it's FIVE IN THE MORNING! I come back to get you, not saying a word, and then you call me a party pooper? Tell me why I have to be a party pooper just because I didn't want to act a fool tonight? Why do I have to be a party pooper? First of all, I didn't have to bring your asses to the club... I didn't have to do that. Then, you're gonna insult me? AND SO FUCKIN WHAT IF I'M TOUCHY!? STOP BEING SUCH A FUCKIN ASSHOLE AND SHUT YOUR MOUTH SOMETIMES!
JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL DOES NOT MEAN YOU CAN RUN ME! Cause guess what?
When I close my eyes do you know what I see? A BABY! A BABY! You are a baby, and HOW DARE You bring him to my car, and pressure me to let him in... Why'd you even bring him over here? WHY DID YOU BRING THAT GIRL! OVER HERE!...HOW DARE YOU...How fuckin dare you? SO, I let him in my car, and he was the last to say thank you. I swear, God help me. I am so angry. I do not want to be this angry person. I don't want to have to go off, but these people are, these people are killing me, they are bringing me down and I pray to you help me find away above them, because I cannot save them... I cannot. I have tried.