Right now, I can't even hear my music playing.

I mean, I know "Let's Call It Off" by Drake, Peter & Bjorn is on, but it's like I'm listening to it from inside of a box or something. You know, that distorted way that makes everything sound like it's playing from a basement below you. My house has no basement. I'm sitting here with my $5 Ray Ban knock-off Ocean Pacific yellow sunglasses, fighting with myself. My head is literally spinning, and now my eyes are starting to tingle & feel wierd because they're trying to focus the words that I am typing. Drake just asked why he felt so alone...I wonder if he would listen to me if I could come up with an answer. If I could explain to him that I know exactly how he feels. If I could somehow convince him to listen to my problems & want to take care of me, want to see me. If I could somehow convince any guy to stick around long enough for me to get over myself. [laugh] How pathetic is it to want attention from someone you don't even know? How pathetic. We have been fighting this battle for so long. God, what makes me so insane? I'm sitting in this chair right now in front of this monitor wondering why my eyelashes are rubbing against the lens of these glasses. Why do they curl in the first place? Why do -am I so sad, angry, happy, mad, frustrated at the same time? Angry and mad are synonyms, but I won't change that...Now. That didn't make any sense did it? I could take those scissors in front of me. I could take them, walk over to my mirror, open the blades, slide it from left to right...in perfect lines...turn my mirror into my own work of art. I can hear the sound of the metal grinding into the glass & it sounds like sanity...